Me in a Tree

Posts Tagged ‘confidence’

18Jul

It can be a frustrating situation when you ask your child to clean her room.praise your child One day goes by, and the room is still messy. So you ask again. A week goes by, and the room is still messy. What is a distressed parent to do?

It may start with a simple “thank you” for doing a small chore. Positive reinforcement is very effective in mobilizing children to accomplish tasks, from the simple ones to the more complex. This is especially important when your child does something that you would like to see more of. You could say something like “thank you for doing what I asked right away”. This establishes self-confidence, trust, and respect.

Many experts employ a form of positive reinforcement called descriptive praise – making your child feel good inside. Descriptive praise is free of evaluation, focuses on positive behaviours and accomplishments, and reinforces behaviours that should be continued.

Some tips to give your child descriptive praise:

Be honest. Mean what you say, and say what you mean.
Be detailed. Explain why doing what your child did was worthy of praise.
Be specific. Let you child know exactly what they did well.

Keep it balanced, however, as too much praise can cause result in rude or self-centered behaviour. Gently let your child know where they can improve or what behaviours you would like to see in the future. Striking a balance between too much and too little praise is important to raising a responsible, confident child.

12Jun

Assigning kids chores is one of the best ways to build self-esteem and develop a feeling of competence. Me in a TreeYour child will also grow up perceiving chores as a normal habit of life and establish a good habit and attitude about work.

Psychologists have observed that kids around 18 months of age naturally want to help others. As children are natural imitators, they start doing things that you would do such as sweep, empty dishwasher, wipe counters, and so on. The problem is ‘their helping’ usually becomes more work for parents and takes twice as long. The consequence of this is that parents often squelch this helping desire. Parents will end up doing it themselves to quickly complete the task. It’s important to stop the urge of shooing your preschooler away when they naturally want to volunteer.

Here are some tips on how to effectively get your child to do chores:

Choose the right chores: Make sure your child is capable of doing this chore. Know your child’s skills and what they are interested in.
Take the time for teaching: Take the time to show your preschooler how a chore is done. Don’t assume they naturally know how. Instead, work together until you see that your preschooler is ready to do it by him or herself.
Make it a fun game: Hide pennies around the house under items that need to be put away or cleaned and let them see how many they can find.
Offer praise: Whenever your child makes an effort or completes a task, let them know that they have a good job and you appreciate the help. Praise will motivate them to keep trying.
Make it part of their routine: Pick a day and a time when chores are to be done and stick to it. Consistency is the key. However you decide to set a routine, make sure that it is consistent.
Build relationships through chores: Use this time to bond. If you are helping your child wash the car, have a spontaneous water fight. If you cleaning the bathrooms, crank the music and dance while you’re doing it. Not only will you bond with your child, but have fun too.

If you want to set up a plan for your family’s chores around the house, check out Me In A Tree’s “My Duties” page. We guarantee you will have a good time!

5Jun

Confidence can often be associated with accomplishment, and is integral to development. Confident ChildrenNo matter what stage of development that your child is in, there are always skills to learn. These skills will not only build up your child’s confidence, but also increase their independence and responsibility.

To teach your child a new skill, you will want to start from where you are, not where you want to be. This may be intimidating and counter-intuitive. Identify what skills your child already has and what they can already do, and decide where to go from there. There may be many areas that you want to focus on, but just narrow in on one at a time. This will ensure that your child is not overwhelmed and increases their chances of success.

You should also consider breaking large tasks down and setting deadlines for when a certain task should be completed. With the development of new skills, you are reaching a goal, and deadlines will help your child stay on track and keep progressing.

It is also very important that you keep track of progress and praise your child when they accomplish even a small goal. This positive affirmation will give them the confidence boost to keep going.

It is important to realize that you are your child’s first teacher. You are teaching them to learn and grow with each new skill. It may take time to learn, but patience is necessary. You want to build their confidence and maintain a love for learning.

Sources:
ConnectABILITY: Identify Skills to Teach
For the First Timer: 5 Tips on Teaching Your Child A New Skill

30Nov

Did you know there might be as little as 200 face to face words spoken between family members in a 24 hour period and most of them are barks or orders like “finish what’s on your plate” or “hurry up and go to bed”. With our hyperactive life

styles there seems to be very little time for sitting down and having the “how was your day?” and “what’s going on in school?” conversation. Parents often lose sight of the fact something as simple as having a conversation with their child will not only deepen the relationship, increase their self esteem, but will make them feel more loved. We are caught in a cycle of running around putting children in too many activities to hone their skills and talents trying to boost their confidence and self esteem yet something as simple as having a real conversation, where children speak about their fears, doubts and apprehensions without the worry of the parent getting angry, criticizing or giving immediate advice, will actually help the child feel more important, more than any activity could do.Activities can build confidence, but giving a child a sense of what they can do, by time spent talking with them, can give them a sense of who they are. Making time every day to listen to your child is perhaps one of the best gifts you can ever give them; it does not get simpler than that!