Me in a Tree

Posts Tagged ‘self esteem’


Parenting is all about communicating with your child, Communicating with Childrenand positive two-way communication is important to achieving a healthy relationship and building your child’s self-esteem. When a child wants to talk, it can be easy for parents to interject and correct when their child uses the wrong word, or disagrees. These “chat killers” are also communication killers, and have negative consequences on their self-esteem and confidence.

It becomes increasingly important as your child grows older to share ideas and listen, instead of insisting on talking or correcting. This way, you ensure that your child understands that you value what he or she is talking about and that you are opening up a communication channel that is a flow of ideas and opinions both ways.

Be mindful of your body language, too. Remember that the way you carry and position yourself can have a significant impact on the quality of communication. Make eye contact with your children when they are talking to show that you are listening. Try not to stand above them, but squat down so you are at the same height. Keep in mind the little body language cues such as toe tapping, finger drumming, eye rolling, or sighing, as these can show dissonance and cause children to back away from the conversation.

Finally, remember that communication means paying attention, and paying attention means listening. The next time your child wants to have a chat with you, resist all temptation to interject disagreements, corrections, or other “chat killers”, and focus on listening and sharing ideas.


Organized sports are a great way to get children outside and active. As a parent, you like to show your support for your child by cheering them on. Parenting on the SidelinesThis gives your children encouragement and self-confidence. However, some parents take sports to an extreme level and can become very competitive, not only with their child, but also with other parents on the opposing and same teams. Unfortunately, this does not give the boost of courage that your child needs to succeed.

Here are some parenting on the sidelines tips to ensure that your cheerful support remains positive:

• Remember that it is your child playing the sport, not you. Encouraging your child to test their limits in order to reach their potential is fine, but be careful not to overdo it. Many children feel intense pressure from their parents to excel no matter what, and this is not conducive to healthy development.
• Cheer on your child to get better, but don’t place pressure on them to be the best. Don’t get into competition with other parents. Remember, that you are all there for one reason: to cheer on your children. Keep relationships with the other parents positive.
• Give your child a confidence boost after the game. Notice at least one thing that you child was good at and tell them that you are proud of them.
Have fun! Enjoy watching your child learn, grow, and play.


Confidence can often be associated with accomplishment, and is integral to development. Confident ChildrenNo matter what stage of development that your child is in, there are always skills to learn. These skills will not only build up your child’s confidence, but also increase their independence and responsibility.

To teach your child a new skill, you will want to start from where you are, not where you want to be. This may be intimidating and counter-intuitive. Identify what skills your child already has and what they can already do, and decide where to go from there. There may be many areas that you want to focus on, but just narrow in on one at a time. This will ensure that your child is not overwhelmed and increases their chances of success.

You should also consider breaking large tasks down and setting deadlines for when a certain task should be completed. With the development of new skills, you are reaching a goal, and deadlines will help your child stay on track and keep progressing.

It is also very important that you keep track of progress and praise your child when they accomplish even a small goal. This positive affirmation will give them the confidence boost to keep going.

It is important to realize that you are your child’s first teacher. You are teaching them to learn and grow with each new skill. It may take time to learn, but patience is necessary. You want to build their confidence and maintain a love for learning.

ConnectABILITY: Identify Skills to Teach
For the First Timer: 5 Tips on Teaching Your Child A New Skill


Part of healthy development is learning to be your own person, to have control over your own actions. Me in a TreeIt may not seem wise, but children need to be in control over certain areas in their lives. For instance, if your daughter is developing some self-expression, then let her pick out her own outfit. It may not match, but it will give her confidence. She has the opportunity to be a “big girl” and show mom and dad that she can pick out her own clothes.

As your child ages and develops, the more independence they will need. Once your child becomes self-aware and can distinguish between right and wrong, allowing them to make larger decisions will give them the confidence they will need to continue to develop.

Of course, it may be your “mother bear” instinct to control many of the areas of your child’s life, but this can stifle their growth and set them back for the future. Being overly controlling can attribute to a child’s low self-esteem, which can have damaging effects such as deviance, irrational behaviour, and possibly depression.

Note that your child does not need to control every aspect of his or her life, but only an area at a time. As they grow and develop, they learn many new things, and gain the confidence to make decisions in their life. If you want to try adding in chores as a way for them to grow this independence, try out the Me In A Tree Responsibility Chart.

Kids Health: Developing Your Child’s Self-Esteem


Family…Working & Playing Together

For many of us, the New Year means setting some personal resolution to better ourselves in some way or another. When we think resolutions, we often think along the lines of losing weight, exercising more or getting out of debt, but have you ever considered making a resolution to improve the lives of your whole family?

Making a family resolution means you can focus on “what really matters”. Not only will you improve your family, but your children will learn a lot about self discipline and the value of setting a goal.

Here are some tips on how to help your kids benefit from making resolutions:

1. In order for you and your family to set goals it might be a good idea to review what your family does well together and what you struggle with. By sitting down and identifying your strengths and weaknesses it will become easier to establish where you want to go. has a 5 t0 10 minute assessment that will do this for you.


Did you know there might be as little as 200 face to face words spoken between family members in a 24 hour period and most of them are barks or orders like “finish what’s on your plate” or “hurry up and go to bed”. With our hyperactive life

styles there seems to be very little time for sitting down and having the “how was your day?” and “what’s going on in school?” conversation. Parents often lose sight of the fact something as simple as having a conversation with their child will not only deepen the relationship, increase their self esteem, but will make them feel more loved. We are caught in a cycle of running around putting children in too many activities to hone their skills and talents trying to boost their confidence and self esteem yet something as simple as having a real conversation, where children speak about their fears, doubts and apprehensions without the worry of the parent getting angry, criticizing or giving immediate advice, will actually help the child feel more important, more than any activity could do.Activities can build confidence, but giving a child a sense of what they can do, by time spent talking with them, can give them a sense of who they are. Making time every day to listen to your child is perhaps one of the best gifts you can ever give them; it does not get simpler than that!